


Werewolves are Warm and Fuzzy on the Inside

by Jevil_Joss



Category: One Night Ultimate Werewolf (Card Game)
Genre: A character gets burned at the stake, Fun, How to Get Thrown in Jail in 5 Way Too Easy Steps, no joke, really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 19:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20972141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jevil_Joss/pseuds/Jevil_Joss





	Werewolves are Warm and Fuzzy on the Inside

"Okay." The Seer took a deep breath, put her hands together. "The three of us are not werewolves."

The Troublemaker nodded. 

"But there is definitely one werewolf."

"Okay."

"And both of us claimed to be the Seer."

"Okay."

"But I am not the werewolf."

"Okay."

"That means she is the werewolf."

"No."

The Seer sat straight up, looking at the Troublemaker. "The FUCK is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," answered the Troublemaker, "for I am perfect."

This was going well, if you'd asked the Mystic Wolf. Unfortunately, no one had asked her, and she was left leaning on one hand in a bored fashion. 

The Hunter laughed. "Really? That's what you're going with?"

"Yeah."

"I'm honestly just sitting here, laughing," the Mystic Wolf said with a grin. 

"Why did I sign up for this?" the Seer asked. "I just wanted to rid this fucking village of its fucking werewolves."

"Hey, werewolves may look evil, but we're warm and fuzzy on the inside!"

"Did you see that? She just called herself a werewolf!" the Seer shouted at the Troublemaker. 

"She's a liar," the Troublemaker replied. 

"Fuck you," the Seer stated. 

"Rude," the Troublemaker replied. 

The Mystic Wolf kept grinning. 

"I just wanted to get rid of the lousy werewolves," the Seer said, exasperated. "And I have to deal with this piece of shit." She pointed at the Troublemaker, who said, "Aw, shucks."

"You know, have you ever thought that maybe we haven't actually done anything evil?" the Mystic Wolf asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"No."

"Are all black people evil?" the Mystic Wolf asked. 

"Of course not," the Seer replied immediately. 

"Excuse me?" said the Hunter, glaring. 

"Yes," the Troublemaker said. 

"But all werewolves are evil?" the Mystic Wolf stated. 

The Seer opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. The Hunter thought for a second before saying, "That's a fair point, actually."

"All werewolves are evil," the Troublemaker said with a nod. 

"Then she's evil!" the Seer cried, pointing at the Mystic Wolf. "Her name tag even says 'Mystic Wolf'!"

"But she's not a werewolf," the Troublemaker said. 

Laughing, the Mystic Wolf set her boots up on the table. "Face it, Hot Stuff. She's being stubborn on this front."

The Seer glared at her. "What did you call me?"

"Hot Stuff," the Mystic Wolf said with a grin. 

"Did I miss something important, or are you just trying to mock me?" the Seer asked. 

"Not mocking. Flirting."

"Flirting."

"As I said, evil on the outside, warm and fuzzy on the inside."

"Maybe you should work on the evil on the outside," the Hunter said. 

"But I don't wanna," the Mystic Wolf said. 

"What is wrong with you?" the Seer asked. 

"Well, I ate a sheep raw last night, I'm flirting with you mostly to get under your skin even though I legit like you, and I have stabbed three separate people on three non-specific occasions," the Mystic Wolf replied. "Or did you mean a more general 'what is wrong with you'?"

"Bitch," the Seer muttered. 

"Sexy," returned the Mystic Wolf. 

"Stop it."

"Fat chance."

The Seer slammed her head into the table. "Why am I having to deal with this?"

The Mystic Wolf leaned forward against the table. "Do you need a hug?"

"Not from you. Not in a million years."

The Mystic Wolf grinned. "If it helps, you've got a nice butt."

"No way in hell you're trying to help me, Wolf," the Seer replied. 

"But she's human," the Troublemaker corrected. 

"No! No she isn't!" the Seer cried. 

"No, you see, you've got it wrong," the Troublemaker laughed. "See, I used some potions and...oh, hold on a second. See, this card represents you, this one you, and this one me."

"An unrealistic way of talking about a time-span of twelve hours, but sure," the Mystic Wolf said. 

"Why don't I get one?" the Hunter asked. 

"Cause I didn't find one of these suspiciously painted cards for you," the Troublemaker replied. "Anyway, so I used a 'trade disease' potion you two to see what happens when one of the people isn't diseased. So, take your card and swap it with this one...ta-dah! She is a human now, and you are now the Mystic Wolf, Seer!"

"It...doesn't work like that," the Seer stuttered. 

"Lycanthropy isn't a disease," the Mystic Wolf snarled. 

"You didn't swap my card?" the Hunter asked, disappointed. 

"No, cuz you don't have one," the Troublemaker replied. 

"Wanna accuse her of being the werewolf?" the Mystic Wolf asked. 

"Yes," the Seer replied. 

"Wait, what?" The Troublemaker scooted back. "Hold on. Let's think for a minute--"

As the Troublemaker burned at the stake under false accusations of being a werewolf, the Mystic Wolf leaned over to the Seer. "So, you doing anything after this?"

"Not really."

"So, wanna go out?"

"Why not."


End file.
